We all come from different backgrounds. When people marry, they bring ideals, views and values which are learned from their parents, family members or friends growing up. In marriage, you blend these ideals, views and values into your new relationship… and hope and pray you can come to an agreement without killing each other.
It can be stressful when one person in a marriage holds a particular stance on a subject and the other person has a completely opposing view. If you read the earlier article from this blog called “How money can affect marriage,” you know that finances in particular can cause many marital spats. So how do you get your partner to think about finances and budgeting?
Well, here is the way I look at it. You both obviously love each other or you wouldn’t be married…right? I think the approach has to be very tactful. Here are some suggestions when bringing this subject up to your spouse:
- Bring your spouse the fact sheet. Yep, go over a months worth of spending and share it with your spouse. Let them know you have concerns about where the money is going and see if they have suggestions on how to handle it. If you need help with budget sheets, read this.
- Do not play the “blame game.” VERY IMPORTANT STEP — Never bring up “honey, I am concerned with how much money you are spending????” Really! Men if you say this to your woman, be prepared to sleep on the couch…for awhile! You have to bring this subject up in a way that you show complete respect for your spouse. It is so important because you both are working at these goals together. You both need to be happy and need to be able to live with the financial goals you set in place.
- Talk about the future. Dream together. What goals do you both have for your future? Your in this for the long haul so think about where you want to be in 5 years financially and as a couple. What will 5 years from now look like? Ask your spouse what goals they have. Listen to what is important to them
- Create a plan. Whatever you do, don’t just bring up the subject once and then drop it. Nothing will change if you don’t take action. You will be amazed at what you can accomplish once you start working together. Let your spouse know that you are on their side and you just want to create a plan you can both live with.
- Pray about it. Just spend time together praying about how God wants you to manage your money. He will answer your prayers, but be diligent about praying for it. Just because you pray once doesn’t mean God will answer your prayers. You have to let Him know that this is important to you, but better yet, it is important that you pray that God takes hold of your finances. He will give you peace in this area if you ask for it. I am certain of that.
If you need some extra motivation, check out the blog called Living Well Spending Less and in particular check out the article on “How to Start Your Financial Year Off Right” by clicking here.
Bringing up money is not an easy thing to do, even if it involves the one you love the most. I truly believe if you bring it up with good intention and respect that you both can come to an agreement on what you want your budget to look like. Are there other ways you can think of to approach the budget subject?
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